Wildman from Footscray Track Pants

Description

That’s not advertising. That’s a self-portrait.

Bert Ernie wrote those seven lines about himself, in the third person, which tells you most of what you need to know about Bert Ernie. And every one of them is true. He was born in the sixties. He was raised on Sesame Street and Mr Squiggle — a puppet with a pencil for a nose who drew pictures nobody could predict — and if you’re looking for where all this came from, it’s there, it’s been there the whole time. He did question authority from the get go. He did turn his hand to art. He did fail, repeatedly and publicly, at getting anyone to look at his paintings. And then he moved to Footscray, and now here we are, and you’re reading about track pants.

Wildman from Footscray is the digital abstract he made out of that. It’s a painting about a man turning into an insane wizard — which is either a joke or an accurate account of the last few years, and he’s never been especially clear on which. Reds and greens and hot pinks fighting all over each other, no centre, no rest, nothing standing still. The wild peach logo and the painting’s title sit up in the right pocket area, quietly, like a signature on a canvas, because that’s what it is.

And of all the garments to put it on — track pants. Trackies are what people wear when they’ve stopped trying. They’re the international uniform of giving up: the bin run, the couch, the Sunday nobody’s looking. Bert took the loudest painting he owns and put it on the most surrendered piece of clothing ever invented. It is the single most Footscray decision in this entire catalogue.

• 95% recycled polyester, 5% spandex
• Fabric weight: 9.08 oz./yd.² (308 g/m²)
• Wide-leg cut
• Relaxed unisex fit
• Practical side pockets
• Elastic waistband with a white drawstring
• Sizes 2XS to 6XL
• Printed, cut, and hand-sewn by our expert in-house team

Unisex, wide-legged, stretchy, and sized 2XS through 6XL — which is not a throwaway detail. The man in the poem got old and got fat. He was not about to design something he couldn’t wear.

Made on demand in Latvia or Mexico depending on where you’re ordering from, ethically, the moment you buy. Nothing sits in a warehouse. Nothing gets made until somebody wants it.

Too loud to ignore.

Product measurement guide

The best way to get the best fitting item of clothing is to use the product measurement guide!

This size guide shows product measurements taken when products are laid flat. Actual product measurements may vary by up to 1″ because they’re custom-made by hand.

A 1/2 Waist width

B Inseam length

C Front rise

D 1/2 Hem width

E Length

Imperial

Metric

This size guide shows body measurements. We suggest ordering a size up when your measurements are between sizes.

For all horizontal measurements, please keep the tape measure parallel to the ground.

A: Waist Place the tape on the narrowest part of the waist and measure around.
B: Hips Put the beginning of the tape measure on one hip and bring the tape across the fullest part of the hips back to where you started measuring.

Imperial

Metric